Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Me No Closs

"ME NO CLOSS"
Witness 11: K14



Testimony begins on page 1405
Slobo's cross begins on 1430


Watson: I say Holmes, I'm a little confused. The witnesses have been less that stellar haven't they.

Holmes: They have indeed my good doctor.

Watson: But I'm sure this'll all change with K14 the eleventh witness.

Holmes: Well, this was the very first witness who Slobo was unable to score any debating points off.

Watson: HURRAH! I knew it. The first month was just setting up Mr Evil - AKA Slobo - for a great big fall. Well done K14......... punches air with fist, holds out hands to the heavens and begins to cry........

Holmes: Erm........

Watson: Yes?

Holmes: Well........

Watson: What is it?

Holmes: Well, Slobo didn't score any knockout blows for the very simple reason that she refused to answer any questions.

Watson: You mean like Mr Renal Failure?

Holmes: Yup. Here's the entire defence examination of the witness which lasts for a princely two pages.

(

Judge:Mr. Milosevic, do you want to ask any questions?

Slobo: The bare minimum. I'm very sorry that this young girl is the victim of this crime, this evil, but let me say once again that this was not done by either the army or the police but by criminals and it is the army and the police who arrested criminals of that kind. So I'm not going to ask her anything about that but about other things she said.

Slobo: Witness, you said that the KLA came from [redacted] village and told you that you had to leave.

Witness: Yes. Yes, from [redacted]. The snipers shot from [redacted] [redacted], and it's true.

Slobo: Very well. You said that there was a separate house which was the headquarters of the KLA in your village and that there were many members of the KLA in your village. Is that right?

Witness: Yes, it's true.

Slobo: When you left across the mountains, as you said, did all the members of the KLA go with you?

Witness: Only those who had children, and we helped them a bit.

Slobo: And what about the others? Did they stay in the village or did they go off in another direction?

Witness: They -- some stayed in the village. And I only heard shots and saw smoke.

Slobo: Did many KLA members go with you?

Witness: No. And I don't want to be asked any more questions, because I can't hold out and because of my heart, because those people who raped me have ruined my life.

Slobo: I don't want to ask any more questions then. That's all.

)

Watson: So that's it?

Holmes: Yup. In toto.

Watson: Oh.

Holmes: Succinctly put my good friend. Slobo wins dancing lessons with Fred Astaire: the ICTY? Dancing lessons with David Brent.

Watson and Holmes: Arf.

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